The boys celebrate their third consecutive WTBU Award for Best Talk Show in three seasons. Determined not to let it go to their well-coiffed heads, they proceed to compare themselves to other great dynasties in history. Not to be outdone by last year’s popular Beanpot Burrito Draft, the boys introduce the Beanpot Burger Draft. Bruins radio play-by-play announcer Dave Goucher talks about the state of the Bruins as they skid into the postseason, as well as his favorite disco tune. John the Sandwich Guy makes his return, freestyling on-air and hinting at an upcoming mixtape. Alex doesn’t understand twerking.

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The boys honor all those affected by the tragic events of Marathon Monday and salute the men and women of law enforcement who kept Boston safe and restored its peace of mind. They speak with Emily Sheehan, a Subway “sandwich artisian,” and she details what it’s like to work there on 420 (spoiler alert: lots of bacon). Kyle explains why he and Jay-Z are no longer on good terms. Alex announces that disco is indeed back, even if he’s the only one who believes it.

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The boys try to wrap their hands and minds around Dunkin Donuts’ new sandwich that uses a glazed donut for bread, but come up short. Inspired by a new display in Warren Towers, they present “a day in the Beanpot life.” Kyle reveals a shocking truth behind Lululemon, and Alex cannot stand any girl who says, “Started at the bottom, now we here.” BU is cutting its wrestling program, yet the Quidditch team on campus continues to operate. The boys wonder: why?

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Longtime Boston Mayor Thomas Menino announced that he will not seek a sixth term, igniting a contentious mayoral race. Consummate public servants they are, Alex and Kyle offer up a few suggestions for the next mayor, including a dear friend of the show. The boys provide a comprehensive housing guide just in time for selection, previewing the campus’ prime real estate. Alex points out what Fenway’s doing wrong, and Kyle notes what the Triple-A Lehigh Valley Ironpigs are doing right: urinal-powered video games.

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The boys recap what had been a roller coaster weekend for the BU men’s ice hockey team and say farewell to a true legend. Brookline is considering a ban on swearing in public, which would effectively transform it into a Soviet republic. In response to the Mr. and Ms. BU pageant, the boys award the first-ever Mr. and Ms. Beanpot awards. Kyle scours the grittiest corners of Craigslist to find an apartment, and Alex lends his velvety pipes… to women’s lacrosse?

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The boys are introduced to the deranged BU student and YouTube star who gained Internet infamy for poll dancing on the BU Bus. They say goodbye to a dear, exploding I-95 staple: Fung Wah. The men behind @BUPoops unveil their Poop Madness bracket, pitting against one another the foods most likely to ruin your week on the way out. Alex shares his love for BU Confessions and offers an alternative to Alternative Spring Breaks – the Beanpot Spring Break.

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The boys kick off the show by welcoming gold medalist and captain of 1980 Miracle on Ice team, Mike Eruzione. They talk intangibles, what made the team tick, and why Matt Damon didn’t pay him in Miracle. “Biddies on Ice” returns, and as the BU men’s ice hockey team has declined, so has the quality of the crowd watching it. No Sex Mallory stops by the busted Tufts “Winter Bash,” and Kyle explains why you won’t find him at Justin Timberlake’s Fenway concert.

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The boys mourn the loss of the Heart Attack Grill’s spokesperson after suffering – you guessed it – a heart attack. Alex is introduced to the Harlem Shake and is thoroughly unimpressed. Following news of strange theme parties thrown by Duke University frats, Alex and Kyle suggest one of their own. The TODAY Show spotlights the lamest, most deranged Boston sports “supahfans,” much to the boys’ chagrin/horror.

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The boys have been devastated ever since Giga’s closed down, so they’ve decided to find a new restaurant of endearing mediocrity. Social media etiquette expert Marie Dubuque returns to issue new rules for the Snapchatting masses, and Comcast SportsNet’s Gary Tanguay lends his silky smooth chops to the program. They dust off the Beanpot Crystal Ball to predict the next batch of ridiculous Red Sox scandals to break in 2013. Dave Coulier’s coming to town, and Alex decides to acquaint himself with the actor’s Twitter account. What he found, no man should see.

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